My (m35) wife (f37) doesn't understand me, talks at me, won't help with house.

We moved into smaller space, now have too much stuff. I shut down when dealing with too much visual clutter. Organizing and decluttering has been difficult to the point that I'm eating poorly, neglecting my health, and using vacation and sick time to deal with the house.

There are other limiting factors too, like having very little time while also making repairs to make the house livable, which I'm also doing solo.

I need support but cannot seem to get it. She's well intentioned will phyiscally get in my way and distract me. More often than not, she talks at me, not to me, in monologes or in non sequiturs so I can't even participate in the conversation.

We've talked for months and in different ways about this. I thought we made progress and she was finally coming to an understanding but she recently did something that showed she has no understanding of what I'm going through.

She tried to destroy a possession out of "tough love" because I got a free replacement. I don't have an issue with getting rid of things, I have an issue with visual overwhelm and executive functioning.

She could load up the car with donations or take out the recycling, or help sort things, but instead she just watches youtube every night.

I felt...betrayed? Like "oh so you haven't listened to anything I've said." I asked to be left alone, which she couldn't manage and I had to continuously ask for space, only to be interrupted again and again.

I'd probably have cooled off by know with space but this morning she bagrged into my room to tell me we have a huge unexpected bill to pay and then she hit me with "I still believe in you" apropos of nothing before she left for work. It made me feel like she truly doesn't even understand that I'm upset with her or she thinks giving me empty platitudes will somehow make me feel better.

I feel like I can't live like this but I have no idea what to do. Help. How do I cope? How do I get though to her? I feel so fucking alone.