Should I get an abortion?

Im having a pretty hard time right now so I apologize if I leave anything out or disclose too much.
I (27F) just found out that I am pregnant.
My wife is a trans woman (25F).

We have 2 children already, ages 5 and 7.
My wife started medically transitioning about 3 years ago.

We were going to attempt to have another baby before our kids got too old and there was too large of an age gap. We gave up about 8 months ago due to my wife’s sperm count.
We just took it as a sign that it wasn’t meant to be.
After we figured out we probably weren’t getting pregnant I fell into a pretty deep depression. I don’t know if it was because of that, I think a lot of it had to do with the state of the world and my own past trauma but it was a really hard time.
No meds were working.

I finally got on spravato (esketamine nasal meds) last month and it has been working wonders for me already.

I skipped my dose I was supposed to get this morning because it’s not safe to take while pregnant.

My wife thinks I should get an abortion specifically due to needing to stop my spravato treatment. I agree with her.

There’s a large part of me though that is angry. I wanted this baby. We tried to have this baby, we told family we were trying. We have a room in our house ready for this baby to take up space in and 2 kids who have been cryptically hinting at us having another baby for almost 2 years. We even had a name picked out.

This feels like a sick joke.
I don’t want to have an abortion, no matter how pro choice I am. It’s not something I wanted to experience, especially with what could be a perfectly healthy baby/pregnancy.

The fear is that I could get so depressed I don’t make it to the baby’s birth. Or what if my depression hits me again when it’s already too late to make the decision but far enough away from the due date that I can’t handle it?

I want to do what’s best for the children I already have, and my loving supportive partner. I don’t want to selfishly choose to keep this pregnancy at the expense of my family. But I don’t know how to make myself abort a baby I had dreams about and feel like I already loved. I don’t know what to do.

I know I’m inviting a lot of negative opinions from both sides. Please just try to remember this is a real situation for somebody and I genuinely don’t know what to do about it.