AITA for dismissing my mother?

I (26f) have been living with my mother (52) for all of my life. We moved out of my step-dad’s place a few years back and got our own apartment, this is our first time living together without anybody else in the picture and I feel like it’s driving both of us insane. I love her a lot, but she can be quite unreasonable with me. I believe a major factor is simply the fact that we spend too much time together and how that can turn a healthy relationship into an unhealthy one, but she thinks that I’m wrong and that if I loved and respected her more, it would work.

I feel like she’s very controlling and protective of me; the very few times I have gone out to hang out with friends in the past or talk to them on the phone or even went out of my way to help them out when in need, she held it against me. Saying things like “you’re too tired to go out with me or do something for me or speak to me, but you don’t hesitate to help strangers“, even guilting me for wanting to make friendships with people my age who are not her. While I spend 99% of my time with her and the times I go out, I only go out with her and/or with my sister.

One time I told her that I would like to start doing things without her, like visit cities and go to conventions, she was on the verge of crying. I felt bad, so I stopped talking about it and she later told me that I was selfish for putting myself in danger for nothing and jeopardizing both my life and hers, given how she really has nobody else outside of me and my sister. Now I feel like I can never talk to her about anything because I fear she’ll later use that information against me or to make me feel guilty/shitty.

Crucial context: my sister has schizophrenia and my mom is severely traumatized after she simply left us one day, lying about where she was living/doing. A church lady on the other side of the US called us months later, telling us she was staying there and was having severe mental episodes. We had no idea about her mental disorder then. She’s doing much better now and she’s medicated, but she doesn’t live with us.

I understand why my mother is concerned for me; I have barely gone out or really “experienced life” the way I should have for my age. I don’t drive, she handles most of our bills because she doesn’t believe I’d do a good job (I do contribute financially, at least 50\50 if not more), and I have a really bad habit of procrastinating important things, but she heavily relies on the excuse of me not being responsible enough to keep me on a leash.

I want to continue living with her and doing plenty of things with her, I really do, but I also feel like I’ll never really grow up or form meaningful connections if I don’t dismiss my mother’s wishes and go out on my own at least every now and then. At the same time, I would hate for this to cause unnecessary trauma for her and further resentment towards me. She is a very good mom outside of this and I’m very far from being a perfect daughter.