I seriously dislike how my brain thinks.

I dislike how it thinks because sometimes I say things and people don't understand and it's also partly my fault 50% because I take honesty over some made up dragged out sentence.

For example six months ago I was on the road with a girl I knew for a while I told her she looked bloated, "you look kinda bloated" I didn't mean it in anyway shape or form badly I thought maybe something was wrong with her because her cheeks were really puffed than usual and it was also summer where allergies were about, and all though we've been close she didn't voice any insecurities to me. In fact I tell her she looks pretty very often and I mean it everytime.

As you probably can guess she got angry that I told her that and she left me. She was angry I saw that and tried to apologize three times but she just told me was "F you" and called me "fat and ugly" I didn't take that to heart what she said by the way because I never felt that way towards myself and concluded she was speaking out of anger.

Sigh. Later on I really did some digging on Ecosia and in my brain to realize "yeah I probably shouldn't have even said that".

I don't want to blame my autism she also knows that I have it not that it changes the words that I told her but it's most definitely half of my autism's fault and the rest is put purely on me for not knowing the girl code.

I don't think I want confirmation to say yeah that was not good because I've come to that already and I currently refuse to let myself become friends with me because I'm not medicated and sometimes the things I THINK aren't bad to say and I end up saying it, ruins a person's whole year. 😣