Confused (18+)

I have a friend (f26) and me (27) and I lack socializing skills which I couldn't able to make a girl friend or at least a female friend , a girl whom I have genuinely loved and proposed also kind of loved me back but it ended in break up because their parents will never accept. So, she ditched me in worst possible way and from then on, never spoke or tried to talk with anyone as I completely lost confidence as it effected me a lot and took a toll on me. I am Virgin and even hesitate to shake hands with ladies sometimes (just introvert things). Even tho, I got few chances where I can cash in and chase but I didn't felt any spark and I very proficient in self rejection. And obviously reached to adulthood and my body is seeking the opposite gender's touch and wanna feel the nature's intimate pleasure and unable to control my hormones. Kind of addicted to m**& (yk)! So, this female friend of mine is some what outgoing and she said we can be in fwb but I don't, I have been friends with for past 5 years and I don't wanna ruin things, also at the same time I want the intimacy too. So, I'm confused and i don't know what to do, I want it and don't want it at the same time. Kindly enlighten me on this....