Confused about genetic testing in the UK

Hi everyone,

I'm in the UK and a bit confused by everything, so I'd really appreciate some advice. I'm in my mid-30s and my GP recommended me for genetic testing.

My knowledge of my family history of cancer is patchy, due to being no contact with my family. When filling in the initial form, I was only able to provide information I could remember, which I made clear.

My father had a rare type of lymphoma in his 40s and his mother died aged 40 from breast cancer. On my maternal side, my mother had breast cancer in her 30s (and her father died of prostate cancer aged 80, which is less relevant to genetic testing, I think, as he was older, although I should note that it was aggressive).

I have no idea if any of them had genetic testing, or if anyone else in my family has been diagnosed with cancer. My mother's family are also not from the UK (west Asia, north Africa, south Europe mainly) and have various rifts, so there could potentially be other family members with cancer that I just don't know about. Due to abuse, I'm simply not able to involve my family at all in my medical care, which I've made clear to doctors again and again.

I've just received a letter rejecting me for genetic testing on the NHS. I've been told that my mother could get tested and, if it shows she has a faulty gene, my eligibility could be re-evaluated. I've also been asked to keep the genetics team updated about any other family cancers/medical history. I've said this isn't possible and I'm feeling hurt and a bit vulnerable, after I've made it clear it's not possible for me to get or share any information with my family. I also have medical trauma (diagnosed with PTSD), which makes this very difficult for me.

Basically, I'm looking for any advice regarding testing. Does my father's rare lymphoma and his mother dying at 40 not impact anything at all? Is it worth me arguing my case/going private? I don't want to be pushy; if it's deemed that I'm not at risk, fine. But I feel like my complicated family history really hasn't been considered and I've not been supported at all with this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated 🩷