My Macho Father In Law Advice

One of my core memories about my father-in-law happened when he was a little drunk.

My FIL is very much the stereotypical macho Filipino dad. He’s also a seaman, so for most of his adult life, his job meant being away from home for months at a time. It was just the reality of providing for his family.

One time, my husband was talking about a possible job opportunity abroad in IT. We were discussing whether he should take it and what it would mean for our family. My FIL was listening pala.

He told my husband, basically: “Okay lang. Kunin mo yung trabaho. Pero dalhin mo pamilya mo. Huwag mong iiwan ang pamilya mo.”

And honestly, that stayed with me.

Because this is a man who spent much of his own life leaving his family because of work. He had to go away as a seaman to provide for them. He probably missed birthdays, ordinary days, family dinners, milestones, all those little things that you can’t get back. Noong nag graduate ang Bunso nya, nabasa ko sa GC sabi nya na Wala na naman daw sya. Pa joke but I know deep down it must have hurt.

And now here he was, telling his own son not to repeat that part of his life.

It felt like he was saying, “I know what it's like to make sacrifices for your family. But if you have a choice, don't make the same sacrifice I had to make. Don't let work make you miss your family growing up.” Maybe that's why it became such a core memory for me.

For a man who spent his life being away from his family because he believed that was how he took care of them, hearing him tell his son, “Never leave your family,” felt incredibly profound. I salute all OFWs for making the sacrifice of being away just to be able to provide. Kayo ang tunay na bayani.