my essays are too chalant and its freaking me out

I've read so many successful MIT essays, and the one thing I keep noticing in each one is a sense of calmness, mellow writing, and carries peaceful-tone in a good way. Meanwhile, my essays are full of sound effects, exclamation points, and emphasized words.

One of my friends who's an MIT'29 wrote an essay about almost the same topic as me, but I can't help but notice how her voice sounds at ease, and more 'nonchalant' (in a non-cringy way) when reading it in my head. My same essay carries a lot more "LETS DO THIS!" or "I wont give up!!" energy thats super bold and energetic, chock-full of energy and enthusiasm. I know everyone says not to change your style/essays to appeal to what one thinks is the 'right' style, but I cant help worrying im too chalant for these prompts