AITA because I can’t stand social obligations and end up icing people out?

All my life I’ve enjoyed solitude and never really liked small talk, except with people I find interesting or can learn from. The problem: in college and in my last three jobs, I’ve noticed people don’t really like me — and honestly, I don’t love most people either. It’s not everyone, but in general, people irritate me, especially once things get “friendly” — asking for money, selling raffle tickets, pushing you to chip in for celebrations. I hate all of that.
I also can’t stand it when people want to be friends in a professional or academic setting. I know this isn’t great, and it’s made me kind of bitter, though I’m not sure if it’s really a personality flaw. I do want to get along with people and feel at peace, but when things don’t go my way, I get stressed, complicated, and end up treating people badly. I’m controlling — I want everything my way — and I know that’s an issue, but I don’t know how to fix it.
I don’t want conflict with people around me, but I genuinely hate the constant small talk and greetings. I get along with people at first, but the smallest thing they do or say can make me start resenting them, and then I go cold or stop talking to them the same way. Sometimes I wonder if it’s not them — it’s me, and my coldness is what pushes them away first.