I really don’t know what to do

I’ve had it in the very back of my mind, that I needed to come here for support. I’m fresh 24 (jobless) and I’m in an open relationship with a 35+ divorced bisexual man with kids. We’ve been together for 4 years (on and off twice) and I feel like he’s absolutely miserable with me. The times where he’s most bright and most jolly is when He tries to date women but it——————“never goes his way”. When this sort of thing happens I feel like I see him literally shift into a hateful state where he just degrades them about things that are double standards, often times he’s condemning same actions that he himself has exhibited because it’s being done to him in the moment. Things like lying, cheating, accountability. This ends in him sometimes taking a “break” from the dating scene (let it be known that he’s still passively looking. So he can say he’s taking a break but has already accepted the very last person that swiped right on him so not really a break but whatever)

I’m not sure how other open relationships are but most of my relationship the past quarter to a half year has been us paralleling our activities together. When this happens I know he needs to time form other connections and conversations but he becomes absolutely enveloped into whatever he’s doing in his phone at the moment. To the point of me practically being ignored. He won’t break eye contact from his phone screen and will continue to text before he stops and listens to what’s in front of him. There are times where I’m making a comment on the activity that I’m doing at the time and I’m met with absolute silence. After moments of silence he’ll respond “I’m sorry, what?” This has happened atleast once every day for the past year.
He practically lives inside of his phone. I feel like he thinks of it as a window and the divorced single dad life that he got himself into, is his personal hell. He constantly wishes things in his life and previous marriage before could’ve worked out differently but now he’s too damaged from his childhood trauma.
He wishes he wasn’t so lonely.
But I feel like I don’t exist in his presence.
His battle obtaining a woman that loves him like I love him so he can have a complete male and female figure in his romantic life is starting to feel like an endless hallway and I’m just along for the ride. I never really know how he’s gonna feel next. I just know if he’s in a good mood he’s probably talking to a girl, and when he’s in a really pissy mood everyone in his phone has ghosted him.

All of this plays into the major lack of desire that I’ve come to feel over the last year. It feels like nothing sexual happens unless I initiate said action. It makes me feel like I’m going crazy because he’ll say things like “wanna bust my nut” or “Wanna suck some dick” but outside of that there’s no coaxing, rarely does he lead with foreplay. It feels like there’s no longer any voraciousness behind his action. I want him to wanna kiss me so bad he doesn’t even have to ask me 💔

Is he just not that into me anymore? Long term relationships change and flux but I think my nervous system is become increasingly alarmed..