My grandma has always been known in our family as a selfish complainer, but most people have just accepted that she's too old to change but still a part of our family. Throughout my childhood, she would tell our waitress the food was "vile" and complained to hotel staff when maids used the regular elevator. However, what did it for me was when she put herself before me during my most vulnerable state (one that had nothing to do with her).

When I was 12, I had three major strokes, which was of course devastating to me and my family. However, while I'm sure my grandma was also devastated, it felt more like she was just wondering how she could make it about her. When my brother said that he wanted to stay with me in the hospital, rather than with her at her beach house, she complained. When I went to said beach house the following year, I discovered that she had told the waiters at restaurants about me. The first time I went to one restaurant after my stroke (I was still extremely vulnerable; puffy from steroids, grappling with my newly diagnosed PTSD/depression, and paralyzed on the right side of my body), I was told about my own time in the hospital. I was so jacked up on meds and had slight amnesia that these "memories" were more clear to the fucking waitstaff than to me...to whom they happened.

My family just tells me to deal with it because she won't be here much longer, everything she does is out of love, and she spoils me. She is pretty well-off (following a divorce with my grandpa), and prides herself in buying my brother and I expensive gifts. But I would have gladly traded every single gift she's ever given me for some compassion and empathy. I always offer to buy the gifts for myself because I know there will be strings attached if they come from her, but she refuses to let me and my parents threaten to take away my card or my car (or something like that) if I buy something that expensive.

A

my rich grandma only thinks about herself