It makes me sad when I realise how much my MH problems have driven good ppl in my life away…

I’m not expecting anything with this post, just here to vent and get my thoughts out.

But yeah, this evening I’m realising just how many good ppl I’ve encountered in my life and I didn’t appreciate them at all and now they are all gone. The few connections I have irl right now do not feel the same as they did with the good ppl I had before and it’s making me so upset. It really is my fault, I drove them all away and I feel so hopeless.

I don’t understand why I do this. Why do I always push everyone away? Why do I always have to be so stubborn? Why can’t I just function like a normal fucking person for ONCE in my life…. Please put me out of my misery already.

To quote Jane Austen; I’m 27 years old. I’ve no money and no prospects. I’m already a burden to my parents. And I’m frightened. ——- I don’t think I’ve ever related to something more.