Feeling happy but cautious and don’t know if I’m being stupid

Is it a bad idea to keep going on dates with this man?
So basically I haven’t dated in years because I just haven’t met anyone I am attracted to. Plus I had been very hurt by past relationships and struggle to trust anyone else

In 2025, I went on a first date with a guy. Let’s called him ‘Fred’. When I arrived at the date however, his energy was off. The first half of the date was very awkward but I don’t know if it was because we were both nervous but as the date went on, everything really flowed and I was definitely attracted. However, neither of us followed up after the date and I forgot about him

I started dating someone else for a year but that didn’t work out either

Back in April, I receive a text from Fred and he’s asking how I’m doing etc. we talk a little bit and in May, we ended up going on a date together. He planned a towel and it was a very thoughtful planned date, again I was quite nervous to see him. I ended up having an absolutely lovely time with him. We went to a country house, went out for lunch and on the way back spontaneously went to the cinema. We ended the date with little kiss. I did ask him on the date why he had come back after a whole year, and he told me that he realised that he wasn’t over his ex-girlfriend and needed some time because it had been a very long relationship.

What confuses me, is that for the whole of summer? We just haven’t been able to see each other again. He often time asked me when I’m free, and hasn’t followed through. That happened a couple of times and I’ve got quite annoyed with it.

There was one time that he suggested that perhaps on the Friday we go on a date, but the Friday came around and I didn’t hear from him and I got really upset and sent a little bit of an angry message, to which he told me that I was being unreasonable. Now I don’t know if I was being unreasonable but I was certainly reacting to the uncertainty and lack of communication.

Then there were a couple of excuses that his grandmother was ill, that he had a viral illness for a month, that he was going on holiday. I got quite annoyed with it so I just stopped replying to him. I talked out with my friends and my friends were agreeing like maybe his breadcrumbing Me, maybe he’s not a nice guy.

It was a few weeks ago when he messaged me again and told me how he would really love to see me. I have been ignoring his messages for a month, and I felt like there’s no way that I could possibly see him again.

But, have had a series of bad dates over the last few weeks, last night I decided to
agree to go out for dinner with him.

I felt very relaxed before the dinner and I didn’t have any nerves, I felt quite happy to see him, and we had lovely conversation, a lot of laughs, a lot of flirting, something I haven’t experienced in years with anyone.
I took note of his personality, he’s very caring, he’s very thoughtful, in contrast to how he is over text particularly over the summer where I haven’t really heard from him much

At the end of the day we ended up making out for a long time in the car, but he didn’t push for any intimacy, I found him very respectful

We actually went on a date yesterday we went on a big long hike and had lots of nice conversation and it was just the loveliest day, and ended up sleeping together, please don’t judge, I stayed over at his and even this morning when he made me breakfast, he just seemed happy to have me there.

I feel like we’ve misunderstood each other and I’ve been a bit reactive due to trauma from past things. I wonder if he was responding to that

but I guess I was quite insecure.

I guess why I’m making this post, is that I’m wondering is it really stupid that I’m going on dates with him again, in principle should I have just continue ghosting him?

Do some relationships have messy starts like that, does it necessarily mean I was a back up.

Now he’s being communicative and the whole vibe is different

Now I probably sound really chaotic and messed up from this post, but I am starting therapy, and I expect that I have potentially a fearful avoidant attachment style. I think my friends frame him is all bad, but last night really made me change my mind about him, I thought he was lovely.

My gut isn’t screaming out in anxiety either, I feel comfortable around him, I feel quite excited but at the same time, I feel quite embarrassed and shame about the way I reacted in summer