This experience made me never want to work in an LGBTQ+ organisation again.

Hey guys. This is a HR issue I have dealt with earlier this year and I really just wanted to get it off my chest because it's really taken a toll on my confidence professionally since. The resolution was not in my favour.

I work in the LGBTQ+ sector. Cis male, late 20's, from a British-Muslim background. I worked two roles within the charity sector.

In workplace 1, I worked alongside a colleague who ill call A for this story. A is trans and has spoke extensively about their experiences in professional and public settings, from personal life, advice to political opinions etc. They are nearly double my age, which I mention because when I first started working, they remarked I was 'enthusiastic' and were curious to see how long that would last. I deeply enjoy my job because obviously, I come from a background that wasn't very supportive growing up.

I acquired a role in workplace 2, and later realised A also worked there. It is common in the charity sector to work two roles. I didn't want to impose upon A's space, or pose a threat especially based on comments they've made in the past.

I tried my best to be warm and friendly. Among this, a panel event was taking place, surrounding Queer experiences and the law. I was asked to recommend speakers, specifically a Trans speaker as they lacked one. I recommended A because 1) They were qualified, and 2) In an attempt to try and build some rapport with them.

Next week at work, A and a new recruit alongside me were together. Want to reiterate, we are a trans support service, and it's a common discussion point at work. When A told me they got the gig, I congratulated them and said I'm glad I put forward their name, as it was an oversight to not have a Trans speaker especially given the current climate (policies around bathrooms etc). They smiled and said thank you.

Minutes later, I was roped in by the manager. I was asked to close the door. "Do you know why you're here?", I said no. "Do you think it's normal to out people as Trans?" My heart absolutely sunk. A claimed I outed them as trans, to the new recruit. It felt so accusatory and I was trying my best to explai. The manager wasn't even aware of what transpired and assumed I had done this as a hate crime, interrupting me, behaving hostile. I later learned they have a personal friendship with A.

A didn't personally address me about this either, and was nothing but kind to my face. .

In hindsight, despite me assuming this individual, due to their history of speaking about it in and out of the workspace, I still acknowledge that they are entitled to feel outed to the new recruit. My greater issue lied with how my manager immediately turned me into a bogeyman and bigot, and how terribly I was berated and treated in the weeks following. 2 weeks passed from the incident and I gave a sick note, and ironically the same day A and the manager lodged a complaint against me. Great timing.

I also felt the way the word 'outed' was being thrown was extra disheartening, given that I experienced an outing that led to me losing family members. Just no sensitivity at all.

It just felt ironic that all this diversity training happens only for me, a person who's from a very niche minority background to be kicked out. I've had so many bad experiences working in the LGBTQ+ sector, I joke among friends that I'm dying to work with straight people again. Atleast I anticipate to be on guard there, rather than being coaxed by the rainbow then spat out by it.