What is the punishment in the afterlife for those who aren’t enough.

I’ve struggled my whole life with disappointing people. I can say it’s not due to laziness or lack of trying, but just due to some inherent failing in my spirit.

I’m not the child my parents wanted, I’ve not been the partner my exes wanted. I and many in my generation are a disappointment to my boomer boss.

I’m too sensitive, too worried about what others think, not assertive enough, too boring, not caring enough. I’ve never been able to fix others’ anger and I know it’s all my fault.

So: what awaits me in the hereafter? I have repeated dreams which feel prophetic of being tortured by those who best exemplify the contempt I feel others hold me in: tech bros like Peter Thiel and Elon Musk, who splay me out on a surgical table and slowly vivisect me while keeping me alive as long as possible for the sun of empathy and sensitivity and the hubris of consuming any of their precious resources.

But I’d like to know, from this community: what fate will befall me and is there any penance I can do before it’s too late?