Ex (30F) is asking me (28F) couples counselling, but how would it help?
Ended 7year relationship. Ex (30F) asking me (28F) to try couples counselling, how would it help?
TL;DR - I ended my seven year relationship due to not feeling fulfilled, happy, distant and lonely from lack of physical affection. Ex is now asking to try couples counselling but I'm in two minds. Don't understand how it would help but also feel like I should try.
I broke up with my gf of seven years in August. We have had very little contact since then but when we broke up, but has recently asked me about couples counselling and if I was willing to try.
My reasoning for breaking up was that I just wasn't feeling fulfilled, my love language is very much physical touch, hers is not. After a long time of not getting enough of it and being turned down it was really affecting my mental health and I was becoming very unhappy. I always just made excuses for not recieving it. Over maybe just under a year before the break up I had brought the issue up a few times and there was just a cycle of things improving, giving me a sense of hope, and then slowly declining again and getting back into my sad ditch of being unhappy, cold, not wanting to be around them as much.
My question is, would couples counselling actually help, how would it help, what would it look like? I'm very much in two minds.
-
Do I just try? It might work and I won't be just throwing away our relationship. I do think this issue is behind all the disconnect I feel and loneliness.
-
Do I just leave things? I'm already thinking that I will try and move away from this city next year. If I was to try and it not work I would feel like a massive dick to my friends (I know they wouldn't care), would I have the guts to leave again, what if it will be the same cycle again but longer? Waiting for the counselling to finish before stopping the affection. She also just thinks all I want is more intimacy but it's also all the little things, little touches etc
This was much longer than I thought it would be but it could also be twice the length of I let myself. I will appreciate the read
Posted Sep 21, 2026, 6:16 PM UTC