My friend got into a fight, and my “fight-or-flight” response made me realize I still have feelings for him.

In March, I met this guy on a dating app. We went on a date, and we had an instant connection. Unfortunately, he decided that after our date and thinking on it for a few days, that he wasn’t ready for any type of relationship. Along the lines of “as soon as I started to imagine a future with you, I lost sight of trying to figure out who I am, and I think I need to do that first.” He claimed his emotional connection to me was strong, and that we need some time apart to figure out ourselves before starting something serious. We ended amicably.

Last month, I reached out to him in regards to a friendship. A tiny part of me was curious about his feelings, but most of it was missing that instant connection with him. We agreed to be friends, and texted back and forth occasionally.

We met up at a show (2 day-er), and had a blast. I’ll admit, I was a little nervous, as this was our first time hanging out after our date months ago. But we met new people, made a chill group, and overall had a good time.

After the second day show, we were all chilling outside the venue just chatting. This woman comes up to us and it’s very clear she’s not sober. She falls over, we start to ask if she has a ride home. She makes some sort of dance motion, when my friend laughs, and she knocks him in the face with something she was holding in her hand. It hit hard, he fell back a bit.

Something inside of me just sparked. One of the guys we were hanging out with stood between us ushering her out, and I told her to leave very loudly, also crowding her away as one of the guys created the physical barrier to make sure she wouldn’t anyone else. I felt like punching her, and I stepped away as soon as security came out of the building. I felt like I needed to protect him. After the small adrenaline wore off, I ran over to my friend to make sure he was okay. In the end, all that happened was he was sore, and had a little scratch.

I have never jumped to fight before. I’m an introvert, scared of everything, antisocial, etc. I wouldn’t have met anyone at the concert if it wasn’t for my friend. But my feelings and intuition or whatever it was told me to go HARD to defend him.

We all parted ways, and on my drive home, it hit me. I really care about him. I would protect him from anything. I don’t think he has feelings for me anymore, but now I have to navigate this storm in my head. Honestly? That was the moment it clicked for ME. That I need to work on myself in terms of life and romantic feelings. I want to go on another date someday, and I think those feelings I have for him won’t fizzle for a while. I remember him saying something along the lines of I had so much confidence in myself on our date months ago. I feel like I got that confidence back when I went in to defend him. I now have work to do on myself, but I hope these romantic feelings are still just an effect of post-concert. He’s a great guy and person. That’s it.