I always seem to be the one trying to keep the relationship going :(

I’m (24F), and aside from one relationship, I’ve only seriously flirted with or had a crush on maybe 4–5 people throughout my life.

No matter who I talk to, whether they’re conventionally attractive or not, I always seem to end up being kept as an option. How do I stop this from happening?

I don’t think I’m boring or unattractive enough to be someone’s backup option, but with pretty much everyone I talk to, I’m the one trying to keep the conversation going, coming up with topics, asking questions, showing more curiosity, etc. What am I doing wrong?

Is the solution to just stop giving people attention? I’m not clingy or overbearing, and I absolutely hate it when someone is like that with me either.

What is my problem?
I’m currently talking to a guy and we’ve been talking for 40 days, and he still says he’s using Bumble. Like… being kept as a backup option for 40 days is kind of wild, isn’t it?
I genuinely want to understand what I’m doing wrong and how I can break this pattern.