Does the feeling of “hating” your MIL ever go away?

I stopped “seeing” my MIL 1.2 years ago. Like face to face and she lives 4 minutes away from me.

The history and stories are way too long. I’ve given her endless chances. From the moment she knew I was marrying her son she’s caused trouble. It took being married for 5 years to finally put my foot down. I was 4 months pregnant. I did not want to be stressed for the remainder of my pregnancy or postpartum. I chose myself. I still let her see her grandkids. She loves them. They’re way too young to be impressionable yet. The moment they can understand her messiness I’m willing to sever ties.

She’s always had this weird fixation on me. She wants to be friends, but I can’t be friends with someone as crazy as her. She’s quick to apologize and then throw a stone the moment you turn your back. I confront, she denies, I insist and then she admits and apologizes. It’s like dealing with a child…

I want to clarify my husband told me from the VERY beginning not to have a relationship with her and avoid her. I didn’t listen. I never had a bad relationship with older folks. Every aunt, uncle and even older co-workers I’ve gotten along with. I was determined to make it work. It took 7 years to finally give up. I tried.

Now I refuse to see her. We’ve had long patches of not seeing her (11 months straight the longest). My husband tolerates her, but makes it clear he’s on my side. Not once did I EVER feel unsupported. I was just the delusional dummy that thought I could make it work.

I’ll give yall an example. She’s the type to have a dream that I mistreated her. Text me that she’s mad that if I’m mad she’s mad too???? And I’m always confused??? Like huh??? And then brings food to apologize. Like i genuinely don’t get how I lasted so long. She’ll randomly get mad about something I GENUINELY can’t comprehend where it came from??

She’ll randomly block me sometimes (you can tell through WhatsApp). Gets mad if I don’t come to her invites (less than 24hr notice). Also believes my husband does everything and I do nothing. Thinks I’m faking when I’m sick. lol.. these are just like a handful of the many, many unfortunate examples.

I love my husband. He’s such a great dad it’s ignited my own daddy issues. Like he makes being a dad look so easy.

I just can’t stand being related to her through marriage. I randomly feel rage. I actually daydream of never seeing her again through different situations…

I hate her so much. Even though now our relationship has been THE BEST after refusing to see her. Isn’t that odd???

We communicate through text when the children go over. That’s it. We exchange pictures and very small convos. It’s like once I removed myself she started behaving…

The last situation which was a year plus ago she did apologize. I forgave for my sanity, but I refuse to see her in person. I want to continue doing that until we move…

I understand she’s complying with my boundaries, but I still hate her lol. I have PTSD from the illogical situations I’ve been in.

Does the feeling of “hating” ever go away?? Even if you’ve passed what initially made you hate the person??