Am I overreacting to a member of my folk's church?

It's been a crazy 2 years for myself. My dad passed away almost 2 years ago and I've been dealing with that and taking care of my elderly mother and her various health issues and finding care for her. 2 years ago my mom was in a spot where she was okay on her own for a short stint. However someone should be there to keep an eye on her in case she fell or needed help. She didn't need a nurse. She just needed a person to call 911 if she fell.

Unfortunately, I had to deal with my folks church(it's also my childhood church) during this time. I've had to deal with a lady that ran the care ministry. Thankfully, she retired but I've given up reaching out to the care ministry for help.

It's been a combination of a lot of small things.

My dad died on a Saturday and it had been a stressful week leading up to that. I took Sunday afternoon to go to they gym and attend a gym class I really enjoy. During my time at the class, this lady comes and plans things with my mom. My mom has some mental decline and it probably wasn't the best idea for her to make plans with my mom. We didn't even though when the funeral home would be available. This lady had an idea of having an extended family meal and a small private service at the church and then driving over to the funeral home for the service. This was a terrible idea for various reasons. All of my extended family lives 2-4 hours away and it isn't fair to them to stay long. I also know that there are some agnostic/atheists in the family. It was also a 20 minute drive from the church to the funeral home. I also wasn't going to do a funeral precession from the church to the funeral home. There is a hospital next to the church and I didn't want to be in the way of people getting to the hospital.

I send her a message that evening. I don't go into all the details of why her idea sucked. I just stated that everything is going to be at the funeral home. 10 minutes later she calls, I'm not in the mood to talk. I just send it to VM. She sends me a text and tells me to call her back ASAP. I just replied back stating I need a break and I don't know when the funeral home can get us in and once I know when they're available, I'll let her know.

We get everything set up with the funeral home. I get it setup so that during the showing people can go eat in a room next to the room that has the showing. My mom is a diabetic and that really worked out well to have everything close by. The showing was from 12-2 and the service was at 2.

I inform the church of this plan the lady offers to help make a meal and have it delivered to the church. She and another lady from the church set up the dinner. As she is doing this, I open up a lot of the gifts we'd received. We had received a lot chocolates and sugar snacks. I wanted to get rid of them as quickly as I can due to my mom's diabetes. The church lady objects to me doing this because it would ruin the meal. It was like I was a 10 year old and my mom got on me for eating desert before dinner.

After all the issues of dad's service and dad's passing, I needed to desperately find help for my mother. As I previously stated she wasn't in need of a nursing home, but she just needed someone to keep an eye on her.

I reached out to this person for help. I asked for small simple things. I realize it isn't the church's responsibility to provide 24/7 care for mom.

I asked if anyone could help take her to various doctor/specialist appointments. That got shot down.

I asked if anyone could possibly take mom to an adult daycare once or twice a week. That also got shot down.

I asked if anyone could come by around lunch time for free lunch and just to check in with mom and visit her. That also got shot down.

My need to find a caregiver for mom during the day came to ahead a few months later. My mom ended up in the hospital due to some UTI issues. I reached out to her again and tell her about mom being in the hospital and asked if anyone could help. She pays mom a visit in the hospital and during their visit mom doses off and on. She messages me back and tells me about the dosing off and on and that she thought my mom needed people with more medical experience. I rolled my eyes at that. It was mainly because my mom is an 80 year old lady and is naturally tired.

I came to realize my dad was extremely mistaken that the church would be able to help out.

I found some great caregivers and basically shut down tithing to the church. Anymore all my dollars are going to mom's care.

This lady has popped by a few times with flowers from Christmas and Easter. I usually have to toss them out immediately because these flowers are bad for cats. I realized if I asked her to not do that, that it would fall on deaf ears.

The thing this lady has done recently that has grinded my gears is she dropped by unannounced to see mom. One of mom's care givers opens the door asks if she can come in. She doesn't explain who she is or how she knows my mom. I just thought that was extremely rude to just barge in. If she had notified me, I could have informed the caregiver about it.

Sorry for the long rant, I just wanted to get some thoughts from some people that aren't Christians but occasionally have to deal with Christians.