Wife’s drinking has me close to separation

I love her so much, and when she’s sober, she’s great.

For roughly 5 years I’ve noticed my wife acting strange on occasion, and it never occurred to me it was alcohol. She would start acting funny at night then be extremely hard to wake up or would be very out of it if you woke her up in the middle of the night etc.

1 year ago it got significantly worse, where she would be passed out in the middle of the day (while working from home), forgetting to pick up the kids or slurring /stumbling at public events.

I was terrified it was some medical condition, but later discovered it was closet drinking which stemmed from major depression.

She’s since started taking anti depressants and is on Campral and naltrexone , and is seeing a psychologist - all good steps that show she wants to stop, and has been working towards this the last 6 months.

Problem is she keeps slipping up and hiding it. She just starts acting mean , and blames me for everything. She also drives drunk which endangers the kids. The kids are noticing her behaviour which scares me too. We have two little boys 4 and 7.

She’ll slip up, get very angry and mean for a day or two, apologise profusely and stay off it for a week or two, and the cycle repeats.

I just can’t handle the stress anymore - and I’m the sole income earner in a very stressful job.

I’m at a point where I’m strongly considering separating…but it will kill her. I’ll have to take the kids, and she’s just recently lost her job due to drinking. She’s not super close with her family. I really fear for her, and think this will prevent any chance of recovery.

I also feel awful thinking about the boys not having their mum around anymore - they adore her.

I still love her, I just can’t handling being with her any more, and feel awful that if I decide to leave her, it will further ruin her life. I feel I’m just being weak, and I just need to find a way to support her.