NC Father Sometimes at my Children’s School

I went NC with my father ~4.5 years ago while I was pregnant with my first. I now have two beautiful kids and he has remarried. His wife’s grandchildren go to the same preschool as mine and sometimes he comes to pick up his step-grandchildren.

This overlap has been happening for about a year and we’ve settled on completely ignoring each other. Up until last week. I was chatting with two other moms from my DS class while the kids played (two kids from my DS class and my DD, no other kids or parents) when my father showed up with his wife and step-grandkids to join in the group to chat and let the kids play. (The step-grandkids are not the same age/ grade as my kids.)

Luckily my DD called me over to play with her and I bolted while he joined the moms to talk. His wife notably hung back from the group. I like to think she recognized this was inappropriate. One of the step-grandkids started crying so they did leave pretty quickly.

I can’t help but think this was an intentional pushing of boundaries. A start of an escalation of behavior to see what he can get away with when he knows I’m trapped. Or maybe some kind of pissing contest “see! I can be here too!” type deal. Any insight, advice, etc would be much appreciated.

The school is aware of our complicated relationship and to not let him anywhere near my children and the director has checked in with me a few times to see how I’m doing. The moms involved are friends of mine also knew the broad strokes but didn’t know it was that exact man, though they do now and were very supportive after the he left. I have moved up my next therapy appointment to talk through the anxiety this has brought up.