Katie for Dummies

If you're mildly or tremendously offended that I wrote a post called "Katie for Dummies" then this is probably for you.

If you as a man, a mature and emotionally intelligent man, understand the reality of the world facing women today and are not offended that I wrote this, then it probably wasn't written for you but you're welcome to read it if curiosity has the better of you.

Alright! Where shall we start?

Let's start with consent. Consent is everything. If you're one of those idiots that shares unsolicited dick pics, then I know instantly you do not respect consent. And I will report your shitty behavior every time.

Speaking of dick pics. Gentleman, you really need to understand that as a general rule, I do not want to see your dick pic. I, candidly, do not really care about your dick. If you're one of those weird men who bullies me trying to get me to ask you to share your dick pic, move along. If you want to talk endlessly about the size of dicks, then please accept you may be bisexual and move the fuck along. Stop obsessing about dicks. It's like the least masculine thing you can possibly do. And the last comment on this topic, if she is super eager immediately to see your dick in a random DM, then "she" is not a she. She is probably a he and you're a moron for not knowing the difference.

What next?

How about intros? So you want to slip into my DMs and tell me that you live in Vegas or are coming to Vegas and would love to hang out? Fabulous. I'm all for it. But let's be clear. If you are unable to introduce yourself like a sane, normal, social adult, then your chance of fucking me is zero. The number of men who literally open a DM with, "uhhh, coming to Vegas this weekend. You want to fuck?" is simply staggering. On what planet do you think a random single woman is going to eagerly jump at that with no information on you? Try introducing yourself. Please. God.

And if the entirety of your intro is, "28 from east coast" then you can move along as well. How about a name? How about your marital status? How about a description or a sfw picture? How about sharing why the fuck you're in my DMs? How about some clue as to your personality? You need to understand that single women on social platforms get hundreds of random DMs a day and we are not going to dig and pry. If you're not forthcoming, it's game over.

Now a bit about me.

I'm single. 28. Vegas native. Very fucking ADHD. Actually quite introverted. I am geninely hypersexual because sex is one of the few things that quiets my noisy mind. I'm bi-sexual. I'm sex positive. I don't, largely, believe in monogamy. I am safe and get tested. I do love sex. I am a licensed massage therapist. I don't do THAT for money. I do THAT for fun. I believe consenting adults should be left to do whatever the fuck they want to do behind closed doors. I live alone. I hate small talk. I am kinky and love intelligent conversations about kinky topics, but I'm really not much for sexting or roleplay. If you need a partner to jerk off with, it's probably not me. I am submissive. Truly submissive. Pleasing and giving and serving and servicing and satisfying is a thing for me. It comes from deep within. When I share that I enjoy giving oral sex because it scratches that submissive itch deep within, don't just discount it by instantly saying, "oh yeah, I love to eat pussy!" That's annoying. And by the way, 99% of men online also claim (keyword here is claim) to love to eat pussy. And claim (again, keyword here is claim) to have huge dicks. Please. God. Be unique. Those things don't make you unique. Quite the opposite in fact.

Let's talk about massages.

Do I want clients to grow my massage practice? Hell yes. Do I want to tell random strangers on the internet where I work so I can get murdered? Not really. When you DM me, please save me the, "ooh, how funny, I've been looking for a new massage therapist!" bit because way too many guys use that one, too. It's okay to say you want a massage but you're going to have to respect that I will not allow you to book until we have a sufficient level of trust.

Oh yeah, back to being unique.

Gentlemen, the number one thing you want to do when you land in the DMs of a woman who gets a bajillion DMs is be unique. Charming, memorable, and unique. And I need to tell you - and I know this will crush some souls - if you use the term "pleasure dom" with me, I'm out. I will roll my eyes and then probably ignore you. I simply cannot overstate how many men seem to play this "pleasure dom" card these days. It's annoying, unoriginal, and frankly sex with "pleasure dom" men is exactly like sex with, well, men. Very few men really truly get what it means to be dominant because to be dominant, you have to be with a woman who is submissive. And to be a great partner, even temporarily, to a woman who is submissive, you have to get inside her mind. You have to ask great questions. You to have listen. You have to build trust. The overly casual way men throw "pleasure dom" around (notice how I keep putting it in quotes?) tells me all I need to know about these men and their wild lack of understanding of how submissive women like me are truly wired.

I could write about 20 pages more but I'll offer just one more thing and then call it.

I often make clear my preference is white or black men. That's often met by lots of whining but asian, latino, and other men. I'm sorry if it offends you but as a general rule, I do not like how a lot of cultures treat women, so I choose not to engage with men from those cultures. I'm sorry if that seems unfair, but I just don't abide cultures that treat women badly. Full stop.

If you're read this far, awesome. I love you and appreciate you taking the time to do so! 😘