Questions about a public competition and a job

I am studying for a public competition. It includes two exams and the ones with the highest scores get a specific job. I am studying really hard, I feel so motivated like never before. I can easily imagine myself in those shoes: winning the contest, getting the job, moving out, high salary etc.

Although, I did the same when I was applying for PhD programs, and it didn't end well. Later, I came to realize that I prefer steadiness in my life right now and that I want to feel secure before trying to pursue my interests in philosophy.

Honestly, I am confused now. I feel like I can dream about everything I want, but somehow I don't feel like I am 100% connected to my desires, since I don't have a full picture of what I want my life to look like, and I don't have any clue of how adult life is supposed to feel.

This means I can only wish about the steadiness to explore it, and right now getting this kind of job feels like a good way to achieve it.

I am studying really hard, and daydream a lot. But I am not sure if I am doing the right thing since previously it didn't end up well (I am referring to the PhD). What do you think about that?