Life after a suicide attempt?

Hi, I’m going to save you the long sad story about what happened but I (28M) attempted to delete myself after a breakup with my son’s mother and girlfriend/fiancé of 7 years.

I 🔫 myself in the face. Bullet went from under the chin and missed my brain, thank god. So I survived. I feel like I woke up with more shit on my plate than dread I felt from before it happened. I just wanted it to go away. I didn’t want to feel the pain and doom I felt everyday.

Anyways, like I said I feel like I woke up with more shit on my plate. I have damage to my lower face and nose. Most of my teeth are gone, I have to get what’s called a Obturator, my speech is weird with the teeth gone and the hole in my mouth. I can’t eat regularly so I eat through a tube for now. I had what’s called a free flap construction in my lower jaw to start the process to fix things but this has disrupted my lymph systems so my face is puffy. I also wear a towel around my face 24/7 because at this time my mouth doesn’t close properly so I drool a lot uncontrollablly due to the anatomy and some nerves that were loss during the reconstruction surgeries.

And surprise surprise, she still doesn’t want anything to do with me and she’s out living her life. She visited me in the hospital once and stopped coming. hurts but I’ve been getting better. Going to therapy and what not, also doing a lot of healing on my own. My mind is in a far better place than last year but I still have my days but I can regulate now, I can talk to my nervous system. Despite all the bad that’s happened and the stuff I regret doing, I can truly say I’ve been healing and I’m not suicidal at all anymore. Learning to let go and understand that people are free to make choices that are best for them even if that hurts me.

My question to the wonderful people of this subreddit, and maybe I shouldn’t be asking here, but any advice on getting back to living? Again I have this towel around my face 24/7 which is annoying but it is what it is I’m not insecure about it. But my face is swollen and I don’t look like my old self as much, granted I’m still going through surgeries and recovery and healing so I know I’m nowhere near finished but it’s been almost a year so it eats at me sometimes that I’m not further along than I’d like to be.

Idk, I just feel stuck sometimes. I’m at home 24/7 and it’s been almost a year. Don’t have too many friends but every now and then I’ll get out. But I don’t want to just sit around at home anymore, I’m healing and accepting how things are and now I want to pour back into myself it’s just that I quite can’t right now? Or at least that’s how it seems. I have this idea version of myself doing things and meeting people but when I look in the mirror I still see a visibly scarred man. I like fishing, I want to go talk to girls, I want to join clubs, run a marathon, etc, it just right now I feel so stuck. I’m able bodied, the only thing holding me back is my face. Idk maybe I’m just ranting but any advice would be nice to hear. Thanks!