Help convincing myself to let it go after 5 months

Hello, my ex and I broke up 5 months ago, which is not very long at all. But it's my first big breakup, so im just confused about how it all works.

I don't think about him as much anymore, and it doesn't hurt to think about him anymore. But I've had days recently where I just miss the relationship. We broke up at a weird time in my life, so many things were happening to me. (Multiple family sicknesses, including my mother having cancer and another actually passing later after the breakup). And I got so overwhelmed, and the relationship seemed to just not be helping. And I vocalized all my concerns. My ex didn't like going out; he worked alot so he never wanted to join me to go thrifting or maybe paint pottery as a cute date. And I don't go out much, so I just wanted to do fun things with him. So I vocalized that. And then I felt he hadn't been very loving and supportive during my hard time. We pretty much just went on as normal when I felt like my life was falling apart. So then I thought about our future.

What if we have kids and he's just working all the time, and I feel like I get no support (he will be inheriting a family business, so he will be very busy in the future). So that scared me; I would need support with the kids, and I worried he could not give me that, especially since he wants way more kids than I do and sucks at stuff like that. Like wakes me up in the middle of the night to tell me the cat puked. Like, cool, clean it up. And God, he could be so stuck up, immature, and spoiled; you could really tell he grew up super rich. And the day before we broke up, I just word-vomited all this to him.

And then we broke up. He didn't even really say much to me; he just cut it, said we wanted different things, and now it's been 5 months. So why do I miss him so much? Why do I hope he messages me one day that he made a mistake and wants to get back together? I don't get it.

I've tried dating apps recently and hated them. I always just compared them to my ex, which made me think about and miss my ex more. So I guess, what do I do? What stage of grief or whatever is my mind in? And I guess, what do you guys do when this seems to just weigh on you? I worry about love. I guess I feel like I won't find love since I never dated much until now. But im only 22, so I know I have a lot of time. But i guess right now im trying to just stop thinking about my ex