Some ah jokes I wrote. Wondering if I could get on Joe Rogan

Let me just introduce myself... Ive had amnesia for as long as I can remember... And I'm technically a Holocaust survivor. But I'm not intolerant. Whatever lactose does behind closed doors is fine with me. I'm not one of these Bible freaks, though I do study it religiously. My last job interview asked for character references. I guess they didnt like Bart Simpson. They asked me what my greatest strengths are. I said i don't sell weed. My dad was a painter. He painted people. They didn't appreciate it. My car joined AA. It was a drink driver. I entered a cravat wearing competition. Tied first place. My phone has a pedometer. I went for a walk and passed 10 thousand of them. I worked in a jewellers for vegetables. We only dealt with carrot gold. I got arrested for theft in Australia. It was a kangaroo court.