I hate my life and it’s all my fault

I should’ve tried harder to be normal when I was younger and still had some hope for the future. Now I’m completely alone, with no social interaction outside of work because I never figured out how to talk to people or make friends, working a job that is miserable and exhausting, but is stable and pays too well to give up. The thought of another 50-60 years of this is a nightmare. Nothing I’ve tried to make things better has worked even a little and I don’t care enough about myself at this point to put any effort into anything. I have no hope for the future. Nothing is worth all of this.