Nocturnal seizures?

29F - I am hoping to try to describe my experience and learn if anyone has had similar experiences.

Sometimes when I’m in and out of sleep, either about to fall asleep but more often after I’ve just woken up from a short sleep. I know exactly where I am, even though my eyes are sometimes still closed and I feel like every single muscle in my body is tensed so hard it’s like i’m shaking.

Sometimes I can feel as though I am rolling/thrashing but only slightly. I DON’T feel like I can recall (for example) the sensation of my blankets against my body. This is almost always accompanied by a strained feeling in the neck/throat and like I want to call out but cannot control my vocal cords. Sometimes I think I am moaning but it had never seemed to wake my 4yr old who is most often sleeping next me rather than my partner. 😅 The extreme tensing feels somewhat painful. Idk if I tense my fingers and toes or anything. I can’t really remember that. I remember it mainly in the trunk and neck and I think often my head is craning bc it feels stuck in an active stiffness that way but idk. Sometimes my eyes are half open and I can see the bed around me. I can also think during these episodes pretty clearly and often think to myself “am i having a seizure?” but after a minute I feel basically normal except quite sore, mainly in the neck. And I don’t feel rested. I have never bit my tongue or wet the bed, though often after these episodes my underwear are a little tiny bit wet.

My partner did witness one of these episodes once five years ago, and it was so stressful for me because I was fully aware in the moment of him being there freaking out and I had this huge shame like because I was conscious/aware I must’ve been acting it out and should have stopped but??? I wasn’t acting and couldn’t stop until it just was over. And when it’s over I kind of question/doubt was that even real?

Has anyone experienced this sort of thing? It’s not really causing problems for me because they only happen I think 3-4 times in a year, and most of the time I get good sleep. But I feel anxiety that this could be a form of epilepsy and I worry it’ll manifest in a daytime seizure.

After the episode my partner witnessed, I did go to the ER but not until the next evening because I didn’t think I needed to go but my GP asked me to. The EEG was normal then.

I guess I am mainly wondering if anyone has had similar experiences because I feel a little crazy after it’s over wondering if that really happened.