Japan trip in December

I'm traveling to Japan for my 50th with my brother. We arrive in Tokyo on 12/3 and leave on 12/14. I'd like some tips and recommendations to build the proper plan. I'd like to spend at least 5 days in Tokyo, 4 days in Kyoto and 1-2 days in Hakone. The Hakone portion would allow me to golf (suggestions for courses). My brother doesn't golf so not sure if they'd let him join me or if he'd just explore Hakone. We both have tattoos so would like some suggestions on where to stay and experience a onsen in Hokone - not keen on getting a private onsen experience with my brother so suggestions welcomed. Thank you in advance.