lunch was carrots with homemade hummus. i haven’t felt like eating tbh 

so last night i finally worked up the courage to tell my (ex) boyfriend to move out. if you’ve seen my posts, you know, if not i’ve made several over the past couple months about everything with him. 

i’m honestly so depressed. i’m so so so so so sad. i haven’t been able to stop crying and i just feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. i told him i really needed things to change and i can’t keep living like this, and that i knew that if we continued like this then nothing would change. i also told him that i needed space from him. he told me he disagreed but understood. 

he started packing his stuff last night and slept in the other room, but later on he came in and we held each other crying. he apologized for everything and said he was regretful of so much, and while it felt nice, i’m wondering why it had to get to this point for him to say sorry. for him to open up to me. for him to care. i’m so hurt because i love him so much. it hurts me so much to see him go because he really WAS my person. despite everything, he was mine. i so wish that things will change, that he decides to go to therapy too and grows as a person and that we can reconnect later on. i so wish that he’ll make his way back to me. 

i wish so many things but is it possible for someone to change? i know it’s silly to keep dreaming about us getting back together but well what can u do. i’m just so sad and heartbroken and my whole body is aching. i just wish things were different. 

is it possible for people to change?