AITA for encouraging my best friend's crush to volunteer for the harvest festival?

Comedy-Horror

Pretty much what the title says, I’m just posting this to Reddit to see if maybe I’m in the wrong here. For some background, me (16m), my best friend Mike (16m), and his crush Jenny (16f) all live in a small farming town in Iowa. Mike and I have been friends since we were in little league together and we’ve never had a big disagreement like this before. Mike’s originally from Orlando, and his family moved here when he was little. My family’s been here for a long time though, they originally came over in the 1700s from Ireland, and then migrated west to Iowa where we put down roots along with a few other Irish families. I only mention the genealogy because maybe Mike’s family not having as deep ties to the community is part of why he doesn’t care as much about the harvest festival. Jenny’s family is also from here and while we’ve known each other longer than either of us have known Mike, I think of her more like a cousin, so this isn’t because we both want to date her or anything.

Like I said, our town’s really small (there’s only like 300 people here) but I’ve never actually left it. I’m sure that other farming towns have harvest festivals too so if you’re from one you’re probably familiar, but for the city folk, basically a harvest festival is a big event at the end of the fall harvest each year. It’s a big celebration where people sell stuff that they grew, food, trinkets, etc. and we celebrate a successful harvest and prepare for the next one. Obviously for a town like ours it’s a really big deal, and the most important person is Crom Cruach’s Maiden. Every year, the Festival Committee posts a list at our school of all the girls who are eligible to become Crom Cruach’s Maiden that year (there’s a bunch of stuff that goes into deciding who can be one) and Jenny was on this year’s list. 

When we saw she was on the list, I suggested that Jenny volunteer since being the maiden would really help her family. Her family farms corn and she’s a blonde, so if she’s picked the corn harvest will be a bumper crop next year. Obviously, regardless of who they pick, as long as Crom Cruach gets a maiden, all the crops will do well, but Mike’s family grows potatoes, so maybe he just doesn’t want her to volunteer so they’ll pick a brunette and it’ll help his family’s farm more. Honestly, I think if that’s the reason he doesn’t want her to get picked, it’s pretty selfish. Most of the families here grow corn, and with the costs of everything, picking a blonde would help more people.

Anyway, when I made the suggestion to Jenny, Mike got really quiet and just kind of walked off. When I asked him what was up after math class he blew up at me and started yelling about how “the whole festival’s fucked up” and that “if Jenny’s really your friend you shouldn’t want that to happen to her” and stuff like that. Like, I get that it sucks for him that he can’t date her if she gets picked as Crom Cruach’s Maiden, but it would be a really big honor for Jenny and it helps the whole town. I mean, my older sister got picked when I was a kid and my parents still get sad when they think about her. But they always let me know that what she did was important and how thankful they are that she could be given to him. 

Jenny knows that Mike has a crush on her (even though he hasn’t asked her out), so she let him make his case and she’s gonna think it over for a bit. That’s fair IMO, and she still has until the end of the month to make a decision since it takes like a week for the Festival Committee to pick from the volunteers and then there’s a month of preparation before the actual day. Everyone I know IRL that I’ve talked to about this thinks that Mike’s being a dick and he should be happy she’d even be considered, but I’m interested to hear what you guys think too, so let me know. Thanks!

Posted Sep 21, 2026, 6:26 PM UTC

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