"Is there a reason we are not friends on Facebook????"

I have been estranged from you for half a year. When I officially dropped you it took two weeks for you and to realize that my low-contact was no-contact, you both tried to call me and contact me through every avenue you could find for a solid 3 days straight. Including using other people's phones.

It has been six months.

You found one more avenue to contact me from and that's your message?

Well ok, here's your fucking answer that I won't send you because I'm keeping strong to my boundaries.

During Christmas when I visited you both you each, individually, sat me down to tell me that "I love you, I just don't like you as a person." And I thought on that, for MONTHS.

I allowed myself to get on a videocall with you both close to my birthday a couple months later. Neither of you were able to look at me. You would talk to my children but when I was on the screen you would close your eyes like you were thinking really hard about what you were saying to me.

I realized right then and there that if I brought it up we would go through the exact same cycle we'd been going through my entire adult life.

• I ask a question or mention something that kinda hurt my feelings and want to know if it was intentional.
• You scream at me. You yell at me. You call me delusional and claim I have a victim complex and that I'm trying to make you look bad and say I'm a horrible awful person for daring think of you in such a manor.
• You cut contact from me for two weeks, you give me the cold shoulder, the silent treatment.
• After those two weeks, three weeks, a month and a half, you call me to tell me about something unrelated and act like we haven't been not-talking for weeks and no argument happens.

No resolution. No changed behavior. No apology. I, can't... keep doing this.

And you wanna know the real kicker? At month three of no contact my nervous system decided we're safe enough to unlock my REPRESSED CHILDHOOD MEMORIES.

I can now remember all the times you two >!raped !<me. I remember the times you >!beat me near to death.!< I remember APOLOGIZING TO YOU for getting you arrested after you >!raped me and beat me!< so bad in a fit of rage that I had to be saved by paramedics and then gave me the silent treatment for six months after you got back from jail. I remember being 4, 5, 6, 7 years old you PIECES OF SHIT.

Thanks assholes, at least now I can remember my multiple traumatic brain injuries, being addicted to cigarettes at age 6 which explains these fucking cravings I've had my entire life, and I can't hardly fucking touch anyone in my life with a hug or handshake without having full body twitches! If I talk out loud about you two I start involuntarily twitching and stuttering.

So yeah, that's why we're "not Facebook friends." Because if I could I'd have an argument with you and go scorched earth but you fuckers are incapable of change so I know you'd just conveniently forget it in a few weeks and the only way I would be able to get you assholes to leave me alone is to tell everyone in your lives what you did to me.

So, for now, I'm going to say nothing. I'm going to protect my peace. I'm going to stay far the fuck away from you, and I will not be communicating with you.