I love him, but he says he only wants to be friends. How do I step away without ruining our work relationship?

I met this guy about three months ago while I was still in a relationship. A month later, I broke up with my ex because he was irresponsible and emotionally unavailable. Around the same time, I was going through a really difficult period—I had nowhere to stay, was broke, and had just gone through a breakup. This guy offered to let me stay at his place for a few days until I found somewhere to live.

We already had a good connection when we first met, and while I was staying there, we got closer. We started drinking together, spending time together, and eventually became physical. It happened several times, and I ended up developing genuine feelings for him.

About a month later, I confessed that I liked him. He told me he doesn't want a relationship right now, doesn't want to get married, and that I deserve someone better. He also said he feels a special connection with me, but that he can only offer friendship.

I accepted that and tried to distance myself. We didn't talk much for about 15 days, and I thought I was finally getting some perspective. But when I came back from another city, he picked me up from the station, and later he initiated physical affection again. I reminded him that we'd agreed not to do that anymore, but he said he knew and just wanted to tease me. We ended up getting close again, and I told him I missed him. He said he missed me too.

This has continued happening. He says we're friends and that he can't commit, but then he initiates physical intimacy and acts affectionate. At the same time, whenever I become emotionally affectionate or try to talk about my feelings, he sometimes calls it “bachchodi” or tells me not to write paragraphs about how something he did hurt me.

There have also been comments during intimacy about hygiene that really hurt me. I've communicated to him several times when something he said or did hurt me, but I feel like my feelings are becoming a burden to him.

I've also given him a lot of small gifts because I genuinely care about him. His birthday was recently, and I got him something too. I know I probably give much more emotionally than he does, and that's starting to make me question myself.

I don't think he's necessarily a bad person. He helped me when I was going through an extremely difficult time, and I will always appreciate that. But I don't know if what he feels for me is anything beyond physical affection and friendship. For me, it's love.

The complicated part is that we also work together on projects, so I can't simply disappear from his life without potentially affecting our work.

I'm thinking about stepping back completely from the romantic/physical side and focusing on myself while keeping things professional between us. But I'm struggling because I still love him and I still want to spend time with him.

Am I being desperate? Should I completely let this go, or is there a way to maintain the friendship and work relationship without continuing to hurt myself?