The first time I made myself squirt.

I’m a little late to the party. I know. Most women figure out how to get their own rocks off early on. Not at almost 30! But, better late than never! Right? Besides, hubby does an amazing job, so it feels ungrateful, to play by myself. And it feels so DIRTY! Good girls don’t need to pleasure themselves. They let their husbands do it. I might have a little religious trauma….

Let’s set the scene. It’s a little after noon. Amazon just dropped off my discreet package. If my mother in law knew I used my birthday gift card to buy a sex toy..! The thought makes me giggle. I have the house to myself until I need to pick up the crotch goblins from school. That’s perfect. I can give myself a little love, eat lunch, then hop in the car. Plenty of time.

So I head downstairs to our room. Out of habit, I shut and lock the bedroom door. Don’t ask me why. I drop my leggings and panties to the floor, and hop into hubby’s spot in the bed. On his night stand is a box cutter, that I open and use to get into my package. Those tear here things never open for me. I reach into the bubble package, and pull out a white box.

I use the box cutter again, to slice the tape holding my box shut. Because why struggle? I quickly but carefully close the little knife, and put it back on the nightstand. Safety first! It’s not been that long since my last er trip due to sex. I pop the top open, and dump the toy into my hand. A small charging cable landed on top. Awesome!

Do you think I took the time to read the little booklet? Nope! I immediately grab my little bottle of lube, reach for my phone, and start searching for something to watch. I’m doing this right.

It takes me a few minutes. And the anticipation builds while I search. I want something good. But I don’t want to waste time. Oh this looks good. I click. It’s got one ad, then right to business. I hate waiting for dialogue that doesn’t matter.

I watch on my screen, as the well endowed gentleman on the screen, lightly smacks a woman on her knees in the face with his dick. And I’m ready! Before lubing up my new toy, I check to see how much I may need. I reach for and spread my lips. I’m already so wet. Again though, safety first. So I squirt a good amount of lube on the insertable side on my toy. And rub it around.

This feels so naughty. I can feel my face turning red. I’m glad I’m alone. I can only imagine doing this in front of hubby.

I hold my lips apart again, and gently start to seat the toy inside my pussy. It’s cold! It feels so good. I’m glad I opted for one I won’t need to move, that does both g spot and my greedy little clit! I hope it fits!

I focus on the feeling of my toy sliding home. Yep, it’s definitely in the right spots. Hmmmm. How do I turn it on? Oversight. Where is that book? I start patting around the bed next to me. Bedding and pillows. No paper. I groan, and sit up.

Oh fuck! Guess it wasn’t ALL the way in! Oh, booklet, by my foot. Of course. Insert eye roll. I reach down, with much difficulty, and snag the book. I flip off my ass onto my back so quick! I am not sure if the toy can fall out…. I don’t want to find out.

Ok, table of contents says I have a diagram one page over. It shows if I hold the bottom button, it’ll turn on the inside, and holding the top button turns on the clit sucker. Easy. But just in case…. I set the booklet next to my head on the pillow. Only need to learn that lesson once!

I hold both buttons down at the same time. Big mistake. Suction on my clit, and vibrations up against my g spot spring to life at exactly the same time. Holy guacamole! Does it start on high speed? I tap the top button again to see if it speeds up or slows down. Nope! The suction on my clit picks up.

I yell. Then I quickly stuff a blanket in my mouth. We share a wall with the landlord! Fuck. I hear dirty, sloppy, sex sounds coming from my phone. I grab it off my chest to look at the screen. His dick is as far down her throat as it can go. She is lips to balls, and crying.

I feel everything in my body tighten, and my first orgasm is here! How long did I last? Maybe ten seconds? Talk about one pump chump….

I reach down and tap a button. I thought it was the top button. It was not. The vibrations up against my g spot get more intense. Ohhhhh not what I meant to do, but not complaining. It’s so much stimulation. I should turn it down. I go to reach for the buttons, and I feel orgasm number two hit without much warning. My pussy clamps down hard on the toy. It’s milking it. Why did I wait to get a toy?

Ok, two is good. I should turn it off. Don’t want to be greedy. I click the top button. My clit starts to pulse. Oh my god! It has its own heartbeat. It hurts. It feels so good. But it hurts. But, what do I do? While trying to decide, a new feeling rips through me. And I start crying.

My clit is going to fall off! Oh it’s sensitive! Stop! Stop! Argggggg! I press the button again. It speeds up. Again. Ahhhhhh! Orgasm number four hits right after I finish the one before. I’m wailing! The blanket is no longer in my mouth. I can’t decide if I’m hurting, or have never felt this good in my life.

I have no idea where my phone has gone. I can hear the guy from the movie telling the woman she takes his cock like such a good cock hungry slut. But that won’t help me turn the toy off. Oh. I need help!

I’m dazed, confused, humping the toy still inside me, when I get an epiphany. The book! It’ll tell me how to turn it off! Duh. I roll my eyes at myself, and number 5 hits. I just lay there and moan. What an easy slut. I’m two minutes into doodling myself, and I’m a mess!

I take a deep breath in, and pat the pillow next to my head. Booklet! Yes! I flip to the diagram page. That text is so tiny. It’s not meant to be read with the toy in! Ok, right there. Hold for three seconds to turn on and off. Why didn’t I think of that?!

I drop the booklet on my chest, and reach down to the toy. While trying to orient myself to the buttons I accidentally click the bottom one. Bzzzzzz. Buzz bz. Bzzzzzzzz. Buzz bz. It’s got a pattern! That’s interesting. I tilt my head to the side and lightly press the toy back in.

I get a burning sensation, and then I feel liquid raining down on my hand, and my thighs. What the hell?! I sit up, just enough to look down my body. It looks like I’ve been hit with a water gun. Huh. That’s new. Maybe I should stop….. since I’m not in my spot.

I quickly reach down between my legs, click, and hold both the buttons at the same time. Thank god it shuts off. I don’t think could have gone again. I’m covered in fluids. All mine. I did this to myself. Zero regrets. Ok, maybe one.

My only regret, the bed wasn’t quite dry when hubby went to lay down that night. And he laughed when I filled him in on what happened. Next time, I’ll leave a bigger puddle.