My dad hates my guts and he still denies it

I’m honestly tired of living my life in confusion not sure if I should live with that fact in peace or deny it when everything literally point towards it.
For context: he made my life a living hell in every possible way, “disowned” me several times verbally, refuse to see me and just treat me differently from others.
Honestly I don’t mind any of that as I live comfortably on my own الحمدلله but 2 things are concerning me rn:
1- what if I want to get married? Would he continue his childish behavior or man up for once in his life?
2- why does he keep playing on that emotional side of the hate and love situation?