AITAH Frat Formal Edition

Okay, here it goes. I've heard real mixed opinions on this one. The reason I am posting this is because this happened months ago, but as of recently, I've heard that I (OP) am an asshole through the grapevine.

Anyway, I am part of a fraternity, and at the end of every semester we have a formal away from school, staying the night at a hotel/venue an hour or two away. This formal is the buzz around the school when it's in season. Keep in mind, I had broken up with my girlfriend as of recently, which kind of influenced my decision to (spoiler alert) not take a girl. I wasn't over it (we're good now).

But here's what happened. A mutual friend of mine had a girl that wanted to go with me and also had lots of her friends going with the other brothers, so we were semi set up together as a floating idea. I started to think, why not, it'll be fun. I never said I would take this girl and had exchanged minimal words with her, just being friendly. Living in my own world, we haven't spoken. Some time passes, and people start to "lock in" with their dates and the event gets closer, but I'm radio silent. I still haven't said anything because I haven't asked, nor has it ever been confirmed that I would go with her.

Later that week, the mutual friend was like, "You guys need to get lunch and talk." So what did I do? I gave it a chance and set up a quick lunch/coffee chat. I went with a fresh, open mind, seeing what could come out of it. It was great, and she was really nice, but no disrespect, I just was not really feeling it. My head was in different places due to my ex and just wanting to have some time on my own after a long relationship.

The mutual friend calls me later that night saying how the lunch was so great and they're not sure what I'm waiting for. That's when I said that honestly, I'm not thinking about taking another girl or anything, but I'd rather just go on my own, be responsible for my own night, buy myself food, get myself a ride to carpool there, and just take care of myself. Keep in mind, I'm in the fraternity, not the sorority girl. I pay the dues. It's my event. Plus, it's not abnormal to not take a date. It's less common, but some of the brothers like hanging out and maybe meeting girls there too.

The kicker of it for me was I didn't owe her anything. I thought this too because for her sorority's local formal, the girl did not take me. If she really wanted me to ask her to mine, she should have considered this. The counterargument they had was that she didn't take another guy or anything; she took her roommate or girlfriend or something. I'm not jealous, I just don't want to be hit by a double standard. I simply just do not have to take a girl to my formal because she wants to go with me. She wasn't my type. I felt like drinking on my own with the boys and saving money.

I understand why she could be upset about the whole thing because of the expectation, and it didn't come to fruition. Well, I expected to play in the NHL when I was 8 years old, but I'm not. Until it happens, don't call it 100%, especially when the fat lady never sang. I feel as though I would be an asshole if I did say, "Hey, would you like to come to formal with me?" and she agreed, and then I backed out because I wanted to go on my own, or even worse, with another girl. But no, that isn't what happened. I never asked. I don't need to stick to my word because the words were never said. I try to understand feelings here, but I truly believe this is purely dramatic. The funniest part is she still went and got to have fun with someone else, so it wasn't like she was the only one left out of her friend group, yet my name still gets pissed on till this day.