AITA for telling my boyfriend his "radical honesty" is just him being rude and calling it a personality trait?

I (26F) have been with “Jake” (28M) for eight months. When we started dating, he told me his friend group prides itself on being “brutally honest.” I thought that meant they roast each other a lot. Nope.

Apparently, they have a rule: if someone complains about their partner, that partner becomes “fair game for group feedback.” I found this out the hard way last weekend when Jake invited me to a barbecue with his friends.

One of them looked me up and down and said, “Jake says you’re a terrible driver. That’s embarrassing for a grown woman.” Another one said, “He also mentioned you’re bad with money. You know that’s a red flag, right?”

I laughed it off at first because I was in shock. Then I went to the bathroom and cried for ten minutes.

On the drive home, I told Jake I was hurt. He said I was being “too sensitive” and that his friends “only care enough to be real with me.” He said if I can’t handle “radical honesty,” maybe I shouldn’t “date someone who values authenticity.”

Here’s where I might be the asshole: I told him that “radical honesty” is just a rebrand of “being an asshole,” and that his friends weren’t being honest—they were being cruel and dressing it up like self-help. I said the only thing radical about his honesty was how radically unnecessary it was.

He said I was “invalidating his communication style.” I said his communication style was just him outsourcing his complaints about me to a group chat and then letting his friends do the dirty work.

He’s now staying at his friend’s place. He texted me: “I’m sorry you feel humiliated. But this is who I am. You either accept it or you don’t.”

My best friend says I should just stop complaining to him about anything. My therapist says this is a “fundamental incompatibility.” Jake just posted a quote on his Story about “people who can’t handle the truth.”

So, AITA?