A red flag in me which I want to break free of

Right now I have started writing this because I can't seem to find any other solution to this. I am a girl, 18 yrs of age. Since my childhood I have always been the obedient good daughter that every parent wants or at least what my parents used to say about me. But I feel like I am not doing enough. I know I can't do much for them but when my mama says something which my mind can't accept I just yell at her or anything. I genuinely feel bad after doing that and I say to myself to not do it again no matter what she says but I end up being the same. I tried looking into other people's lives who don't yell at their parents and everything else that can help but I can't change myself. The moment I am doing that my brain gives the justification that I am being honest and I love her that's why I am stopping her from this etc or even past traumas start getting recalled by my brain to justify but no matter what, I don't want to be like this. I want to be , before anything else, a daughter whose gentler and the most gentler one to her parents no matter what. This is a big big red flag which I want to break free of, any suggestions?

(if someone has watched the recent cdrama the early spring, for better understanding I would say I AM LUKE which I don't want to be)