idk if i can do this anymore

i’m so exhausted. i keep thinking it’ll get better but it doesn’t. i had to take a gap semester this year which was really hard, and tonight my friend sent me a really long message telling me how much she hates me. every awful thing i think about myself that i’ve told her is in that message. i feel so embarrassed and ashamed and angry. she called me disgusting and a spineless bitch and that i make everything about my emotions when the whole year i was avoiding talking about my emotions because i was dealing with a new diagnosis. i’ve made some bad decisions tonight. i really can’t go on. will i ever feel normal again? how do i keep going when every insecurity i’ve had pertaining to my character and mental health has just been validated?