"When I was a lad, I told everyone I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now!"
- Bob Monkhouse

Hi! This is my hijinks, silly buggery, and general tomfoolery master list. To see my other offerings, please have a gander at my meta master list. However, if you're looking for a chortle, snicker, or maybe even a guffaw, I hope you find something up your alley in the below.

In general, my 'rules and permissions' are the same for all scripts, though please glance through the list in the specific script to see if anything changed. I'm pretty easy-going about my work being modified, or being a source for someone else's inspiration, so long as I get credit for any meaningful part my efforts had 😊

• Please let me know if you fill it - I'd love to hear it! Reply here, or DM me if you wish.
• Can be monetised. Please provide me an accessible link if paywalled for other listeners.
• I usually write for F4M. You are welcome to re-write for any speaker/listener combo.
• Feel free to rename characters as desired, but if doing so do not use the name Sally/Sal.
• 'Tone' suggestions and SFX [grey brackets] are general guidance; reinterpret the dialogue as you wish.
• The story description is for your ctrl+C, ctrl+V convenience, and can be edited if you like.
• Please do not use GenAI for any creative aspect of the final product, including artwork*.
• My work is not to be used for training AI.
• Please credit me as u/Docile_Bear in the video description.

^(* Using AI to, say, convert the script to subtitles or similar 'administrative' tasks is fine. My concern is the use of AI for any truly creative aspect of the video, including artwork and sound effects. If you're unsure, please ask 😊)

I really appreciate feedback. I welcome any thoughts offered in good faith. Whether about the script itself, or accessibility from a VA's perspective, or anything else, I'm happy to hear from you!

You may also notice I spell words correctly. Don't panic! I'm simply British. #Heehee #BantzInnitMate 😘

💩 It's all shits 'n giggles, 'til someone giggles and shits 🎭

===================================

• [A4A] The Relaxed Auction of Very Useful* Items [Silly Fun] [Absurdist Humour] [Nerd Humour] [British Humour] // 1.5k Words; est 11-16 mins

Are you fed up of auctions that sell useless decorative tat you could find in your nan's attic, where the auctioneer talks at a thousand words a minute? You've come to the right place! All items guaranteed Useful* and an auctioneer in no hurry to sell it.

*"Useful" is a brand name, not defined for the purposes of this auction. Any or all objects may be useless to any or all bidders, and may, in fact, prove counter-productive. Auction house not responsible for improper - or even proper - use of purchased items that prove to not serve the purpose they were purchased for.

Links: PDF File - ScriptBin - ASMRchives - Post

Fills: Fake

(Two more parts planned, but low priority unless requested)

===================================

• [A4A] Oh No, What Did You Do? [Reverse.. Comfort..?] [Probably Should Have Checked What That Means First] [British Insults] [Dark Humour] // 800 Words, est 6-8 mins.

Damn, must have been really bad!

Author's note: Did I do this "reverse comfort" thing right?

Links: PDF File - ScriptBin - ASMRchives - Post

Fills: Please fill me! 🥲

(Complete, but there are a lot of bigots on the internet, so who knows? 🤷)

===================================

• [A4A] How to Submit Scripts, By a Newbie Script Writer [Meta] [No, Not the Company 'Meta'] [The Script Itself is Meta] [Oh Never Mind] // 1k Words; est 6-9 mins

The subtitle for this script would be "Why Is It So Damned Hard To Give Plain Text Away For Free!?" It's a somewhat exasperated compressed time-lapsed account of the experience of giving some words you wrote as a hobby to someone else to read for free in the year 2026, a world where cancer-busting RNA vaccines, instantaneous global communication, and (America's greatest cultural achievement) the doughnut burger, all exist.

Links: PDF File - ScriptBin - ASMRchives - Post

Fills: Please fill me! 🥲

(Complete, no further plans)

===================================

• [A4A] Yandere Bingo [Yandere Listener] [Willing 'Victim' Speaker] // 1.7k Words; est 12-17 mins

After several weeks of being subtle about it, your current yandere has finally taken the next step in your relationship. You're so excited they got this far!

(Idea originally proposed by IkariVA)

Links: Post

M4F: PDF File - ScriptBin - ASMRchives

F4M: PDF File - ScriptBin - ASMRchives

Fills: Glitterbomb [M4M] - Ikari [NB4A] - admiraltrina [F4M]

(Complete, no further plans)

===================================

🕯️🕯️ Fork Handles for anyone who fills my scripts! 🕯️🕯️