How do you healthily deal with the free time and lack of work?

I’m a relatively new broker and this is a question for mental health.

My budget is to write $12m a year.

It doesn’t always average out to $1m a month. It’s more like $3m a month then quiet for 2 months.

The budgeting side doesn’t bother me. But the quietness can get to me. So far (I’ve been doing this for 2 years), my annual budget has worked out. But I can’t help but feel am I doing something wrong for the months that’s quiet. I can’t shake off the fear that the $2-3m months will not come.

Is this entirely normal? Something I just need to learn to be comfortable with? Sometimes I feel like a fraud just going for long walks everyday for weeks. I hate the anxiety, when it comes, that I might never write another loan again.

So far, my work has come from word of mouth. And I’m happy with that. They’re intimate referrals and I don’t plan to expand my marketing.

What are other brokers thoughts and how do you deal with this?