1st of recovery, feeling absolutely sick

The thing is I never thought I would relapse this badly again. I relapsed last Friday until yesterday I lost £8k and makes me feel so so sick to my stomach to the point I wanna vomit🤢 what gets me the most is the fact that I would have to work so hard for a year now to get rid of this £23k debt! I absolutely do not I do not trust myself with any money. Anything I get I’ll give to my mother. Even in the future I think I’ll have to use bankings that can lock my money like moneybox so if I I attempt to take it out I can have it locked for 95 days before it arrives to my bank.

I have realized us compulsive gamblers cannot be trusted even with our own selves, my mother keeps telling me how can I make the same mistake 10 times+ but it’s not about that we know we keep making the same mistake but we have zero control. I have hit absolutely rock bottom. I never ever in my life thought I’ll be here 2 months ago but here I am £0 in my name and £23k in debt. I won’t give up though I’ll be back in the future once this debt is paid off and I’ll proof to everyone and my family that’s it’s possible to overcome this we just need to be honest with ourselves that we cannot be in control of our finances that’s it.