I feel guilty for being with my partner

I look at my partner and they are so healthy and so amazing, and then I look at myself and I can’t understand why they like me, I feel guilty for the problems I have mentally, I’m so ashamed to talk about my past and everything I’ve been through because there’s just so much that it makes me feel like a freak or something terribly broken, I don’t want to put the weight of my problems onto them so I just deal with them myself in private and don’t talks about it with them, also they want certain things that I don’t think I can give them because of my trauma, but they deserve it and I want to give them as much as I can, i want to give them the world but I feel incapable, I feel like so much less than what they deserve, I feel so guilty for being so broken that I can’t give them something a normal person would be ok with giving, and I’m so scared all the time of messing things up or hurting them or showing them how crazy I really am, I’m even scared to cry in front of them because I feel like I do that too much and I don’t want to overwhelm them, so I cry alone about things they do that trigger me without even realizing it, I feel like it’s so unfair to expect them to put up with my triggers when they can get someone who is better and doesn’t require so much patience and accommodation