im so tired of this

I’m tired of the fact that everytime that i try to do a meditation, or more specifically, “letting go” or whatever u wanna call it, i get the biggest headache ever like, my forehead starts burninggg like when you are furrowing your brows too hard for a while.
Also, i find it pretty difficult to disassociate my mind from like “reality”, i can physically feel my body relax, like completely go numb, but my mind just feels awake all the time, and focus on the sounds around here.

Also, whenever im trying to shift by just simply falling asleep thinking of my dr (whenever i dont wanna put too much pressure on myself), i can never do that, or maybe i can, but like after hours of me just laying there trying to sleep, bc i feel like the best way to make myself fall asleep is to just let my mind loose, without focusing on what to think, but would it mean that my subconscious would just stop thinkinf about my dr and make me dream abt something random? I had dreams lately where there are references to my S/O, but they’re always non lucid (although vivid ngl), and completely unrelated.

Same thing for whenever i’m trying to lucid dream: I wake up, stay FIVE MINUTES, so not even that long to wake myself up (when i did more than that in the past i just woke myself completely), and when it’s time to go to sleep: I can’t, my mind stays completely awake, ans it drives me insane, bc i’m just trying to go to sleep in this case lol.
Especially when i’m doing affirmations, it just makes me focus on them instead of sleeping, but even if so, whenever im like affirming stuff like “im going to sleep, im tired” it’s like i can’t ever sleep really…

I know this was rlly long and confusing, but I really need help. I dont pur too many expectations on myself or anything, and i also firmly believe in shifting as i did a minishift myself a while back, i just need to understand what made me click back then, bc everything im trying as of late isnt working.