Struggling with victim mentality

I don't know where to begin, I'm feeling raw so will just try my best

I have tried so hard to let go of bitterness of my the past, I was set up for failure but the resentment was eating me alive. I got married and had kids and that helped me move on greatly for the most part. The trajectory of my life was decided by very emotionally immature and selfish parents and I can't change it. No amount of anger inside of me can change the choices I made in my early adult years from incompetent selfish parents who set up their kids for failure.

Now present day, I'm unemployed and looking for a job. My education and resume and just the struggles of day to day life are pulling the victim mentality out of me and this bitterness and sadness. I don't know how to stop feeling sorry for myself. I don't want to be immature like my mother and blame everyone else while actually being a selfish wife and mother. I want so badly to escape my past and make peace with it and I thought I had but I'm having a flare up and just feeling sorry for myself and I know I was wronged in so many ways but I can't let it imprison me forever.

My mother has always had a huge victim mentality and martyr complex even though she's selfish, she can frame anything where she's the victim. She encouraged me to be a doormat and sell myself short at every turn because her persona is that being completely selfless and having no self interest is best, even though she is selfish but she just doesn't see it that way. Her victim mentality made her mean and emotionally selfish because nothing was her fault and she was the main character, if I wasn't being her perfect little helper than I was a villian in her story.

I don't know how to stop feeling sorry for myself.