Insomnia

I’m two days past ovulation, and my anxiety and stress and insomnia are completely out of control. I wake up at midnight and I don’t go back to sleep until 5 AM. It’s been like this for years. I’m dismissed by every doctor. I know it just exacerbates my anxiety and depression. I’m at a total loss. It is 4:27 AM. I woke up at 12:30 a.m.
I want to hear what you guys do for the insomnia. I’ve heard progesterone helps. I take magnesium. I have a psychiatrist who prescribed lorazepam just for my luteal phase. I love lorazepam so much. It works so well, but it is highly addictive. And when I stopped taking it once my period starts I have a day of serious anxiety as I’m coming off lorazepam. But I survive it and move on.

I feel like I’m just in survival mode. I’m worried about what all this lack of sleep is doing to me. My anger and rage are just completely out of control. There is no consoling me not that anyone is trying to console me. My rage makes me feel like I’m gonna have a heart attack. No one understands no one gets how painful this is.

I feel alone and abandoned and abused and gaslit. I want out of this so badly, but I don’t know how. Every month when I make it to my period I promise myself I’m gonna relax during luteal phase. I’m gonna stay calm and not let it get to me. But it’s impossible. The cortisol is raging through my body. The best I can do is try not to self harm.