Apparently my friends didn't realise I need someone to listen...

I've had some really hard weeks lately, and I honestly thought I'd clearly "reached out" to a few people who I thought would notice/care, but it turns out they didn't...

As someone who spent a good 5 years actively trying to stop friends and random acquaintances from taking their lives, this hurts and idk where to go from here... Our hotlines are over capacity and I can't afford to keep paying for a psych, and talk therapy just doesn't seem to work for me.

I've always been super independent, and cringe as it is to admit, I really feel so alone and idk where to go from here... :(