I'm not going to hurt myself. But I wish I could tell someone that I no longer wish to be alive

Like I said, I'm safe. I'm lucky to have loved ones who care about and rely on me, and I can't bring myself to do something that would hurt them so badly.

But I do feel like I have given up on myself, and can't envision a happy future. I've only told my therapist this, but it just feels like a matter of time. Not anytime soon, to be sure. But sometimes it just hangs over me.

I don't want to tell anyone that I feel this way and stress them out when I'm definitely safe. But it hurts sometimes. Sometimes I feel like a walking corpse.