Mentioned my birthday fry-up at work. Shouldn’t have. It sparked a full-blown row. Some utterly unhinged opinions were thrown around. For the record, the absolute parameters are as follows: 

Do belong on a fry-up:

• Bacon
• Eggs (fried or scrambled only)
• Sausage
• Tomatoes
• Mushrooms
• Black pudding
• Toast (preferably fried or eggied)
• Chips

Do NOT belong on a fry-up:

• Beans
• Rocket
• Peas
• Spam
• Avocado
• Salmon
• Spinach
• Turkey bacon
• Pickled onions
• Syrup
• Kippers
• Streaky bacon
• Any sauce that isn’t mustard

Someone said tofu. Ridiculous. No one mentioned hash browns. Might have allowed them, though I prefer chips. Beans are a perpetual sore point. Such a widespread issue. At least put them in a fucking ramekin. 

Didn’t speak to anyone for the rest of the day.